hot seagull
Hot seagull
The Ginger twats decided to go for a late night drive to Asda, to achieve their goal on who could spend the most money on utter shite for the week. They start off on their journey, music blaring & laughing at the most ridiculous things, like two twitchy hyenas en route to kill their prey. Suddenly the ginger twat screams a high pitched, resounding, ear piercing scream, followed by an "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god" startled and oblivious to what just happened, the pregnant twat quickly asked "what the fuck, why did you scream?" Ginger twat replied with "how the fuck did you not see that I just hit a fucking seagull?" To which the pregnant twat after a moment of realisation, began to laugh convulsively, crazed like a glasweigen junkie waiting outside the pharmacy for his methadone. She then proceeded to call everyone & tell them what had happened, laughing more & more with every breath while I sat there shaking & feeling absolutely devastated that I killed a seagull!
Fast forward 2 days later & the Ginger twats were out joy-riding again, because apparently one can't go anywhere without the other. After they'd annoyed their partners enough by being out & about, they were on their way home. On passing the sign saying "welcome back" to our home town there was a sudden awful smell, they could not tell where it was coming from, so they rolled down the window thinking maybe it was just the smell of where they lived, as this would not be very surprising, it didn't take long to figure out that the smell was coming from inside the car & so started to believe it was rotten, cooked seagull. The scenario played out with each twat retorting something funnier than what was said before.
This went on for a while until they finally arrived home & the ginger twat asked her very brave but also vegetarian husband, to look under the car because she dreaded the idea of popping the bonnet & seeing a rotted seagulls head just sitting there, staring at her, giving her the evil eye for ruining it's nightly stroll on the middle of the dual carriageway. So convinced their story had to be true, the twats were almost disappointed when they discovered there wasn't actually a seagull lodged under the car, seeking revenge, using chemical warfare. Or so the husband says, but if they chose not to believe him, it would also mean they would have to look for themselves... so I guess they'll never know.
The moral of the story is, we have vivid imaginations & shouldn't go driving late at night.
